Or get a grip. Karl sat down and handed me a hot dog. I vaguely remembered that he had asked me if I had eaten when he called. Nice of him. Way more considerate than the weather. ‘I can’t take it.’ I said. ‘I know.’ ‘I’m just not good enough.’ ‘I know.’ ‘I don’t know what to do.’ ‘I do – get out.’ ‘I can do that?’ ‘Of course. I’ve seen this coming. You’re smart enough, you know enough, you have the people skill – but you don’t want it bad enough.’ ‘I don’t want it at all anymore.’ ‘Matter of fact, I’ve been looking into some options. We need a solution that leaves the company strong without shafting you.’ ‘That would be nice.’ ‘The Olsson group are willing to take over. You would never have to worry about money, and they would be excellent owners for the company, we would continue to build on what your father and grandfather built.’ ‘We. I understand. Well – it’s good to know that you would be there. That is a must.’ ‘Thank you.’ ‘Were you thinking of kicking me out?’ ‘If I had to.. . it just sort ofhappened and that became my name. They say it at school all the timeand... I just don't like the name. I only really hear it when I'm beingscolded and I hate being scolded. I'm not Bianca. I'm Bebe. Ok?" Ok. I'm sorry, Bebe." The doctor made a note. "Getting back to thenecklace... was it a gift?"John nodded."From someone special?"He nodded, again."A boy?"John took a deep breath, then let it out slowly as he nodded, again."Your boyfriend?"He nodded, again."How Old is he?" He'll turn sixteen in a few weeks."The doctor thought for a moment. "Are you... sexually active with thisboy?"John shook his head."Does he know about..."John interrupted, "He knows everything. He knows I'm a freakish littleboy-girl. He knows I'm pretending to be something I'm not. He knowsEVERYTHING! Ok? I know what you think of me! That I'm... weird and aliar, but it's not like that! I'm not really a boy! I never was! Ithought I was! Everyone told me I was! But I wasn't! I've always beensomething.
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